A recent ‘Guardian’ piece explains the term ‘helicopter parents’, so-called because they hover over their children, interfering and directing their lives in a way that would embarrass standard pushy parents.
According to Paul Redmond, Head of Careers at Liverpool University, ‘Several high-profile graduate recruitments have reported incidents where parents have contacted them to negotiate a starting salary. Others have had parents contact them to complain about a ‘child’ who has been overlooked for promotion.
Here are ten other types of parent to look out for:
The Stealth Bomber – Mostly provides undetected parenting, but with little respect for personal boundaries. Can take child by surprise with dropping of emotional nuclear bombs.
The Bus – Open-door parents, whose ‘all-aboard’ attitude is great for the community but sometimes leaves offspring with ‘standing room only’ and hanging on to straps.
Cycle – practical and healthy, less good for intimacy needs. Leaves offspring with confusing ‘you’re on your own’ philosophy and hated by children of ‘cars’.
The Seg-Way – Will spearhead new and innovative approaches to child development, even at the cost of mass ridicule. Can come across as misguided, well-off, hippies who need more sarcastic friends.
Yacht – calm, relaxing parents that provide a stable environment for healthy development but are reliant on outside forces for direction and power.
‘Orse ‘n Cart – plodding, dour parenting, enlivened by the enjoyment of an outdoor lifestyle and a ‘get your finger out’ approach. Tend to produce un-ambitious children with permanently damaged subconscious / nasal passages.
The submarine – patrols offspring unseen, only surfacing at times of great emergency. Sometimes responsible for otherwise inexplicable disappearance of girl / boyfriends.
Coach – no thrills. Delivers children to destination adulthood intact, if with a few stops along the way; but they may feel slightly ill and have a nagging sense of emotional hunger.
Tube - can be efficient but prone to regular breakdowns. Produce competitive kids that are voracious readers but with inability to make eye contact.
Unicycle – Erratic parents whose eccentricity entertains outsiders but they terrorize those in close proximity, i.e. the kids. Prone to changing direction and bruised tibias.
According to Paul Redmond, Head of Careers at Liverpool University, ‘Several high-profile graduate recruitments have reported incidents where parents have contacted them to negotiate a starting salary. Others have had parents contact them to complain about a ‘child’ who has been overlooked for promotion.
Here are ten other types of parent to look out for:
The Stealth Bomber – Mostly provides undetected parenting, but with little respect for personal boundaries. Can take child by surprise with dropping of emotional nuclear bombs.
The Bus – Open-door parents, whose ‘all-aboard’ attitude is great for the community but sometimes leaves offspring with ‘standing room only’ and hanging on to straps.
Cycle – practical and healthy, less good for intimacy needs. Leaves offspring with confusing ‘you’re on your own’ philosophy and hated by children of ‘cars’.
The Seg-Way – Will spearhead new and innovative approaches to child development, even at the cost of mass ridicule. Can come across as misguided, well-off, hippies who need more sarcastic friends.
Yacht – calm, relaxing parents that provide a stable environment for healthy development but are reliant on outside forces for direction and power.
‘Orse ‘n Cart – plodding, dour parenting, enlivened by the enjoyment of an outdoor lifestyle and a ‘get your finger out’ approach. Tend to produce un-ambitious children with permanently damaged subconscious / nasal passages.
The submarine – patrols offspring unseen, only surfacing at times of great emergency. Sometimes responsible for otherwise inexplicable disappearance of girl / boyfriends.
Coach – no thrills. Delivers children to destination adulthood intact, if with a few stops along the way; but they may feel slightly ill and have a nagging sense of emotional hunger.
Tube - can be efficient but prone to regular breakdowns. Produce competitive kids that are voracious readers but with inability to make eye contact.
Unicycle – Erratic parents whose eccentricity entertains outsiders but they terrorize those in close proximity, i.e. the kids. Prone to changing direction and bruised tibias.
2 comments:
I can see myself overlapping in a couple of theses... All that is needed now is one of those websites where you are asked a number of questions and pigeon holed into a lifestyle.....
www.whattypeofcrapparentareyou.com
has a certain ring no?
Thanks for reading, Simon.
I'll see if that domain is registered.
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