Austrian Masters

There have been many words churned out in the media about the Austrian attitude to Euro 08 (Ed – thanks for adding to them).

Many commentators have tried to analyse the co-hosts apathetic attitude to the tournament but they have not quite nailed quite why some locals have compared the arrival of foreign fans to the siege of Vienna in 1683.

However, one can somewhat understand the frustration of the Viennese. The citizens have to cope with a month free of theatre and are forced to navigate the city without the aid of horse-drawn cabs.

Such is the potential for humanitarian disaster that casinos are rallying together to offer assistance for those rendered traumatised by culture free leisure time.

At the time of writing the Mother of All Martyrs is the Concord Card Casino in Vienna. It is opening its doors to the theatre-less and offering the Austrian Masters, a poker spectacular which promises more drama than Macbeth.

If you have been affected by any of the issues on today's blog and would like to donate some money to the distressed Viennese, please contact the Concord Club directly.

Just 115 EURO will buy one person an entry into Thursday's Super Satellite.

For only 330 EURO, you can make sure one player has a seat for Saturday's NL tournament

But if you truly want to change the life of one of these traumatised individuals, please open your hearts and pledge $2,120. The middle classes are the most vulnerable group during a culture drought and your money will provide a well-cushioned seat for one of Austria's afflicted at the main event starting on Friday.