Anti-social Learning Theory

There a quite a few chin-stroking veterans of the poker circuit who like to tell you that it is possible to learn a lot about life from time at the table.

They tend to be the kind of people who, whatever situation they find themselves in, think they could write a book about it.

Whilst not denying there are certainly lessons to be learned at the table, they are almost solely about individual character and are not the kind of life changing moments that will leave you face up in a field, staring at the heavens with a boosted sense of wonder.

In some ways, the lessons you learn at the table can be the opposite to those picked up in the school of life.

Take social learning theory.

It was developed to explain how people learn behaviour and it proposes that there is a tendency to do it through imitation. There are four main stages:

Close contact

Imitation of superiors

Understanding of concepts

Role model behaviour

For example, let’s say you find yourself at a high class, multi course dinner in Monaco and you are set at a large table. The food is yet to arrive but in front of you is a bamboozling range of cutlery. It’s all neatly ordered and you haven’t the foggiest whether it is for prodding, scooping or slicing.

So, what do you do?

Well, according to social learning theory, you look for the nearest fawning prat in a comfort zone and, when the bouillabaisse arrives, you copy what he does. In theory, this should limit the chances of losing face by accidently lifting the lemon de-zester.

For dinner parties, social learning theory is the equivalent of an experienced hand guiding you through a labyrinth of etiquette.

For poker, social learning is the equivalent of a pat on the back which turns out to be a slapped on ‘kick me’ sign.

It is all about context.

In the dinner party, the context is immediately obvious: it is to enjoy a fine meal whilst simultaneously demonstrating suitability for membership in an elite group.

At the poker table, the context is changing all the time and so, when the fish is served, there can be a range of different slicing devices.

It is very important to not mindlessly ape the style of successful players. Poker is too complex for that.

Take the style of Gus Hansen. He is one of the most aggressive, unpredictable players on the live poker circuit and is highly successful but if you or I were to mimic the way he plays, we’d be broke in days.

He (in most cases – let’s not go nuts) makes his decisions because he is attuned with the shifting patterns of the game and can read when it’s worth trying a quick slap on someone’s stack. It is fundamentally wrong to peek at your hole cards and say ‘Well, I’ve got 9-5 and I’ve seen Gus raise....’

It is the ‘too much TV’ syndrome.

Some players can forget that when they watch poker, it is a highly edited package which does not show the hours of mundane mucking that provides the context of Gus’ raising tactics.

Therefore, one of the lessons we have learned about life through our time flicking cards, is that it proves the theory that adaptability is the key to survival.

You can read the forthcoming book about it.

Each copy comes with a complimentary ground mat and telescope.

Gutshot Series of Poker

For a multitude of reasons, it is good to see Mark Hayes ensnare the £12,000 first prize for the main event at the Gutshot Series of poker last week.

It was Mark’s first cash in a mid-range poker tournament and his triumph over seventy-nine rivals should boost his confidence at the tables so we expect to be writing about him again soon.

However, it is also good to see the Gutshot Poker Club, which is based on Clerkenwell Road, London, hosting tournaments.

On January 16th 2007, its co-founder, Derek Kelly was convicted of contravening the UK Gaming Act. He argued that poker was a game of skill and that the Act should not apply. His defence was rejected.

He was forced to pay legal fees of £23,000 and faced closure of the Gutshot.

Outside court, Kelly said:

‘[We] will continue to campaign to have poker played among normal people and not casinos.’

Last week’s tournament proves that he is offering a good fight.

However, another comment made by a spokesperson from the Gaming Commission suggests there may be a way to go:

‘Poker is a very popular game, but without proper supervision, it can rapidly escalate into a high risk, volatile activity, as well as create opportunities for criminal exploitation and cheating.’

Mark Hayes, we hope you are reading.

Gutshot Series of Poker – Main event - £500 NL Hold ‘em

1. Mark Hayes – £12,000
2. Jack Powell – £7,200
3. Ray Caabay - £5,200
4. Chen Ying – £4,000
5. Nick Persaud - £3,200

Result of the Irish Poker Classic

Ok, we finally have it folks!

After labours worthy of Hercules we have, in our hands, the final results from the Irish Poker Classic.

You may recall it was Ireland’s premier poker event for August and its €150,000 guaranteed prize pool had attracted some big names.

You may also recall that it was to a ‘Deep Stack’ event, with 15,000 starting chips and slower level increases.

Well, we had expected the combination of moolah and thoughtful strategy to produce a longer game but we didn’t expect it to take nearly two week to get the results.

We can only wager there must have been a few smiling eyes that wanted to celebrate in the best possible fashion or that they decided to wait until the Olympics was over before they engaged in their own competition.

Regardless of the reasons for the delay of publication, we can now unfurl the oily papyrus and inform you that first prize was taken by Robert Taylor, a player we haven’t seen in the winner’s enclosure since late last year.

He held off the challenge of one hundred and sixty-eight presumably ponderous individuals and eased himself into a cushion of €46,000.

Although he was awarded the crown, the players and organisers had worked out a four way deal and thus Oliver La Rochelle won more money despite finishing in the nominal second place.

There was lots of head scratching.

The bus lane beckons.

Irish Poker Classic – Macau Sporting Club €1,500 NL ‘Deep Stack’ Hold ‘em

1. Robert Taylor - €46,000
2. Oliver La Rochelle - €47,500
3. Ryan O’Donoghue – €38,250
4. Nicky Power -€41,250
5. Jeff Duvall – €15,000
6. Jonathon Butters – €12,500
7. Mick O’Brien – €10,000
8. Ben Blackmore – €7,500Paul Corrway -€ 5,000

Poker Unclogged

As we approach the end of August, regular readers of Poker Unclogged may recall that we have used this month’s pieces to explore the topic of poker vacations as alternatives to the package holiday.

With yesterday’s Bank Holiday (UK) traditionally marking the end of the summer for the working man, we have decided to wed ourselves with the preoccupations of a lot of households at this time of year and we turn our thoughts to school.

For most individuals, a return to the classroom usually means a time for a new uniform, a chance to laugh at the changes in one’s peer group and to be taught literature by an alcoholic.

For players interested in further their gaming education, a spell at The Casino College could promise much the same experience.

The Sacramento based college offers prospective card dealers plenty of options to help ensure their employment in a casino.

At the time of writing, applicants can choose to study courses in baccarat, blackjack, craps, pai-gow, roulette and of course, our beloved poker.

The courses range from fifty hours to one hundred and fifty hours. Interestingly, the college thinks it can teach poker dealing in ninety hours but needs the biggest time allocation for craps.

The main centre for the Casino College is in Sacramento but also has another four locations in California and three more premises in the rest of the US.

The demand for its places looks likely to continue to grow as new casinos continue to open and crave experienced fingers. Eight years ago, the entire state of California reported there were two thousand casino dealer jobs; three years ago they stated that two thousand six hundred new positions had been created in their state alone.

In these credit-crunched times, it could prove to be quite an appealing career choice because gambling has long been acknowledged as a recession proof industry (and one that presumably holds more appeal that selling hooch or turning tricks).

Graduates from The Casino College should not have to tout for long as they are presented with a certificate confirming competency only when they have completed the final stage – an ‘audition’ , or a live demonstration of ability in front of gamers and players.

The courses are competitively priced - $299 for blackjack, $599 for poker, but prospective dealers are advised to take more than one qualification to enhance their employment prospects. The College also offers a lifetime of help finding a placement and refresher courses are free.

With efficient card dealers capable of making $50,000 a year in tips, a course at The Casino College could well prove to be a shrewd investment for those that love poker but are also wedded to the idea of a monthly salary.

You may not be taught literature by an alcoholic but when you are ensconced at the felt, that experience is never that far away.

To Show or Not to Show - Part Two

Regular readers may recall that last week’s tips column was the first part of a two piece series about whether or not to show your cards when you don’t have to.

The first part detailed a situation in which a player made a huge mistake when he let an egotistical opponent know he had made a correct lay down.

This week, let’s start with another example.

It’s a NL game and an opponent, let’s call him Rocky, raise to four times the big blind from mid position.

You are on the button with ten-nine of diamonds and decide to call on the basis that, against a rock, you are highly likely to have two live cards. You also have position.

The flop slaps: 7h,8h Kd.

Rocky instantly bets sixty percent of the pot.

Even a player who has had his brains scooped out with a spatula can put Rocky on AK.

You also have the straight draw and, because Rocky is so tight, he is going to be conscious that you may have flopped a set: a lot of players will flat call raises with pocket pairs in an attempt to break their opponent should a magical third one hit.

However at the moment, it might be worth letting the pot develop. The bet is bearable and you may receive a free card if he checks the turn.

The turn card is the two of hearts.

Rocky tenses up.

Massive, hooting klaxons are reverberating in his ears.

Get this everybody: there is a flush on board.

He checks to you.

You pause, just long enough for the pain of the flush to sink into the very depths of his soul, then bet eighty percent of the pot.

Rocky feels like Wile E. Coyote when he realises he has just left terra firma and gravity starts to gently tug his tail.

Rocky thinks.

Rocky folds.

At this point, it is worth giving serious consideration to flipping over your cards and giving Rocky a gentle shove into the abyss of tilt.

If you don’t, he’ll be so sure of his decision that he won’t be psychologically affected.

However, by shoving ten high in his face, there is a good chance that you will penetrate his normal rigid strategy and he’ll start trying to pepper you with bullets.

Showing your cards should definitely not be overdone. You can yield too much information about your game. Moreover, so many of the frequent, multi-tabling players will be using statistical tracking devices and every hand that is shown will be logged in their databases – why give them more than you have to?

However, should you find yourself in a game in which all players are folding to bets, play loose and let them see a bluff every once in a while.

Make sure the pot is large enough for the show to have an impact and combine it with a small ‘ty’ or ‘thought so’ – anything that makes you appear cocky and arrogant.

If you gauge it correctly, you can turn a poker quarry into a gold mine.

EPT - Best of Season IV

Possibly inspired by all the hand clapping and anthem playing currently taking place in Beijing, the think-tank at the EPT has decided to have an award ceremony just before its new season flops off in Barcelona.

On September 9, at the Barcelona lounge called the Opium Mar, seven trinkets of community appreciation will be handed to players who offered great individual performances from EPT season IV.

The ceremony will be a curtain raiser to season V but it also offers an opportunity for the poker community to give something back to those pros that have selfishly manufactured an egotistical attitude just so they can give us watching railbirds some fine entertainment.

Two of the seven awards will be voted for by the lumpenproletariat and there will also be a Poker Writer’s Award (that your loyal correspondent has no chance of winning due to mistakenly greasing the wrong palm) announced by the EPT media circus.

The other four winners will be chosen by a panel of experts, including pro Victoria Coren, EPT founder John Duthie and a poker editor called John Caldwell.

Joe Public can vote by visiting www.ept.com/awards/index.html

The Victorian Championships

Most self respecting sports fans should be fully immersed in the Olympics by now. There has been a spectacular opening ceremony, a new world record for the men’s 100m and an open slanging match between the Aussies and the Brits.

When it comes to sports, the former are rather too used to spanking the latter and so the Aussies are currently finding Britain’s high gold medal tally hard to swallow. They have scoffed that the Brits can only win at sports that allow them to sit down. The BBC responded last night by ending their Olympics highlights package with a montage of colourful chairs to the musical backdrop of ‘Sit Down’ by James.

It appears that Australian poker players are standing up to give their support to their nation’s dismissive comments about British sporting ability as only twenty-six of them sat down to play in the main event of the Victorian Championships, despite a prize pool of AUD260,000.
Perhaps a few of their countrymen were uncomfortable with a game that demands patience, concentration and time sitting down away from the barbeque.

We may never know.

We do know that Sam Yousef’s first place has inflated his bank account by AUD 104,000, a number that is only marginally bigger than the Olympic Village’s allocation of condoms.

Victorian Championships – NL hold ‘em – AUD 10,000 – Crown Casino

1. Sam Yousef – AUD 104,000
2. Tino J Lechich – AUD 62,400
3. Kent Hunter - AUD 41,600
4. Josh Ang – AUD 31,200
5. Julias Colman – AUD 20,800

Poker Unclogged

As the silly season continues, this week Poker Unclogged brings news of another alternative way to take a break and still play cards.

Linda Johnson is a card player who has been inducted into the Women in Poker Hall of Fame but she doesn’t rest on her laurels and she continues to push the boat out. She is always keen to attract new players to the game and she is blessed with stacks of charisma, so it was not too surprising to learn that she launched a company offering poker cruises.

Her company’s slogan bravely states ‘You pack and we’ll do the rest’ but a quick browse of their catalogue and it is easy to understand that confident statement.

There are plenty of packages available and cruises are offered to a wide variety of destinations but it is the onboard service that illustrates the attention to detail.

Linda promises a zero tolerance approach to card table abuse. The games vary but tend to begin at $1-$2 limit and peak at $30-60. Such is the comprehensiveness of the packages on offer that they even include an original offer for solo travellers.

Singletons can either choose the standard 50% supplement or they can ask the cruise company to find them a roommate for the trip. With plenty of non-poker activities available, including karaoke and dancing, there might even be the potential for the newly met to become more than just card friends.

For any people seeking to lose their poker cherry, Linda Johnson provides free tutorials which can then be put to use at a level appropriate to the player’s budget. Linda has been the card room manager on more than forty cruises and can testify to good times and high humour.

She has compiled a list of the ten funniest things she has heard on a poker cruise:

1. Has this ship ever sunk before?
2. Does Viagra work on a cruise ship? (Depends on the port)
3. If so many of your passengers live in Las Vegas, why doesn’t the ship leave from there?
4. What is the altitude at sea?
5. When we reach Mexico, do we have to convert our chips to pesos?
6. How many hours do I have to play poker to get a dinner comp?
7. What time is the midnight buffer?
8. If someone falls overboard, will the ship stop for him?
9. Are live straddles allowed at sea?
10. Why don’t the inside cabins have portholes?

As good as Linda’s card seminars are, we would be delighted to welcome the kind of people who ask those questions to the poker table.

Although mainly aimed at the American market, there is nothing preventing European families from booking and Linda has now added a few destinations more local to us non-yanks.

Any interested parties keen to see a few flops at sea should check out Linda’s website at http://www.cardplayercruises.com/

CAPT - Graz

The popularity of poker throughout the whole of Europe was underlined this weekend at the Casino Austria Graz. It hosted the CAPT Graz €2,000 NL tournament and no fewer than five nations were represented in the final ten players.

105 entrants created a prize pool of €199,500 and the lion’s share went to Piotr Jopp, a Pole celebrating his first tournament win. When the €57,850 is plonked into his bank account, we are sure he will want to reproduce the feelings of euphoria and it will be difficult to keep him away from the tables.

Slightly lower down the podium was another newcomer, Austrian Christian Zeibeck, who stashed 41,890 for his second place.

Completing the one-two-three was a countryman of Zeibeck’s, Michael Maier, who will be glad to stash some cash as his prize of €29,920 was his first award since last year.

Normally your British poker commentator might lament the lack of a UK representative in the top ten.

However, this time it is possible that our top dogs were too busy in Beijing winning medals.

It won’t be too long until British faces are back on the poker wall of fame.
As events over the weekend at the Olympics have shown, we can excel at any event as long as we can do it sitting down.

CAPT Graz – €2,000 NL Event

1. Piotr Jopp – Pol – €57,870
2. Christian Zeibeck – Aut –€ 41,890
3. Michael Maier – Aut – €29,920
4. Andreas Krause – Ger – €20,750
5. Sandra Nauiks – Ger – €15,960
6. Laszlo Soltes – Hun – €11,970
7. Janek Schleicher –Ger – €7,980
8. Herbert Kock – Aut – €5,980
9. Johann Brolenius – Swe – €3,990
10. Markus Golser – Aut – €3,190

To Show or not To Show?

Most people who have played poker for a reasonable amount of time know that successful players have a devastating combination of aggression and confidence.

However, people often forget that confidence is not a constant and it will be susceptible to fairly large swings over the course of a poker career or even an individual session. When players have their confidence pounded, their aggression can become hugely misplaced and that is when you can exploit their vulnerability.

There are as many different ways to dent confidence as there are playing styles but this piece is going to concentrate on an aspect a lot of players don’t gauge very well: showing cards when you don’t have to.

Conventional card-playing wisdom states that in most cases you should never show. Certainly, if you stick to that strategy, you will do better than a player who occasionally shows his cards but who times the move badly.

Here’s an example.

Player A is heads up against a tight opponent and the former has flopped top two.

On the flop, A bets three-quarters of the pot and he’s called.

The turn card is a blank so A bets three-quarters and again he’s called.

The river card lands and leaves no possible draws so A bets half and is immediately re-raised, all-in.

It is time for A to consider his options. There was no raise pre-flop, a tight player has called all the way and has now gone all in.

Player A can only beat a bluff, a weaker two pair or the possibility of top pair, top kicker; he can also tie.

He discounts the bluff and TP, TK because his opponent is tight. As there is no other obvious two pair (cards that a player could expect a tight player to play, like QJ, JT etc), he puts his opponent on a set.

He folds but announces to the table, ‘I put down my two pair because you have a set.’
The tight player collects the money and shows his pocket pair, matching another on the flop.

He’s just made a huge mistake.

He has reset the hourglass of Player A’s confidence at the exact moment when it should be dwindling away. If it were in a bricks ‘n mortar cash game, where the value of table presence is at its premium, Player A would feel like a god basking in the respect of his fellow opponents. His decision to fold two pair may seem moronic to others at the table. It now looks like genius.

Consider the possibilities had the tight player quietly folded his hand.

Player A would have to watch the other guy stack his cash. A small degree of uncertainty about the decision to fold could eat away at his mind. If he is subsequently subject to a bad beat from a drunk, his cage could become rattled to the extent that he becomes a prisoner of tilt.

Moreover, by announcing that he is mucking two pair, he is revealing the flaw of ego which can only be properly exploited if the tight player doesn’t reveal his hand.

All of this has been lost, simply because the tight player felt like being nice.

Next week, we will look at occasions when it is worth showing your cards. It won’t be for the squeamish.

Here’s a clue: what is the opposite of being nice?

Irish Poker Classic

Any players heading over to County Cork will be hoping that success in the sixth annual Irish Poker Classic might divert some of the lips that were otherwise bound for the Blarney Stone.

The combination of suckers and rocks is expected to produce some lip-smacking poker action and the organisers at the Macau Sporting Club are salivating at the prospect of the main event.

It begins tomorrow and is scheduled to last three days but it is the €150,000 guaranteed prize pool that is proving the biggest draw.

As is common in Irish poker, the tournament is a Deep-Stack special. Players will start with 15,000 chips and the levels will only increase every seventy-five minutes.

Some big names are expected to touch the tablecloth and they will all be hoping to see some brown trout.

Roy ‘The Boy Brindley, Nicky Power and Annette Obrestad are already confirmed and many more high rollers will breeze in tomorrow.

For anyone not daunted by the €1,500 buy in, it promises to be a great opportunity to dress up to your nines, fill your drink links and play poker against some real head-the-balls.

Olympic Summer Festival 2008

As of 7pm Beijing time today, Finland has just two medals at the Olympics. Thirty-seven year old mother of two, Satu Makela-Nummela, won the gold in the women’s trap shooting on Monday (and her country’s 100th gold medal in the history of the games) whilst Henri Hakkinen owns a bronze after the men’s 10m air rifle battle.

However, looking at the recent no-limit shootout in Estonia, should poker ever be made an Olympic event, we can expect Finland to reach their second century of medals in less than hundred years.

In a vision of things to come, Finnish players filled the top three places of Friday’s main event of the Olympic Summer Festival in Tallinn.

So imposing was their presence at the Olympic Casino that there was only one other nation represented at the final table and those players were just a smattering of local pros who had presumably been kicked out of the local boozer.

Forty-one players dodged the pleasures of the Olympic opening ceremony and paid €750 for some poker fireworks. Many hours later, Kimmo Kurko was the man to ascend to the torch and scoop in the cash.

Olympic Summer Festival 2008 €750 NL Freezeout, Tallinn, Estonia

1. Kimmo Kurko - Fin - €8,914
2. Hannu Korva - Fin - €5,821
3. Jukka Juvonen - Fin - €4,302
4. Rain Elmik - Est - €3,037
5. Vallo Maidla - Est -€2,025
6. Jarmo Harma - Fin - €1,631
7. Mart Pork - Est - €1,294
8. David Jakobson - Fin - €1,097

Poker Unclogged

As the new series of 'Dragons’ Den' has just started in the UK, we thought Poker Unclogged would bring news of the continued success story of Steve Bellis, founder of the Nuts Poker League.

For those who are unfamiliar with the show, think of it as ‘The Nerd Factor’: it features contestants who have ideas for business who have to make their pitch to five ‘Dragons’. The Dragons are highly successful entrepreneurs who decide if the idea is worthy of their investment.

A standard pitch might be ‘if you give me 50 grand, I’ll give you 25% of my company’.

Sometimes the idea is completely unmarketable, gimmicky and proves that having a few sarcastic friends can sometimes be a good thing: one punter fastened roller skates to his knees and wheeled himself around the floor to promote ‘Superknees’, before receiving a gentle push towards the garbage chute.

At other times, what seems to be a promising idea flounders as the Dragons’ questioning reveals inconsistencies and lack of forethought on the part of the (now sweaty) contestant.

Typically, one idea per show will receive a green light and, if it survives the period of due diligence (many don’t), the punter and the Dragon (who accepted the proposal) will go on to make their pots of gold.

Steve Bellis is one such punter.

When he appeared on the show in 2006, he wanted £50,000 backing to start a national poker league.

However, in a moment of television history that could yet be seen as the 21st century’s moon-landing moment, the Dragons offered him an extra £15,000.

Displaying the cool of an experienced poker player, Bellis later said, ‘With hindsight, I could have asked for more.’

His business has now reached the point at which he can think of turning investors away. The Nuts Poker League has been extended across the UK and he is looking to develop the project in France.

He has also recently teamed up with a travel firm called TR4 and is planning to organise poker holidays. Not one to miss a piece of the action, the idea originated from a trip to Lanzarote.

He said, ‘A lot of the places have karaoke and bingo but there are lots of people who want to play poker. We had a meeting with TR4 travel and discussed the possibility of taking 120 people.’

Some further research revealed that the majority of poker trips were to Las Vegas and were aimed at attracting the whales of the gaming community.

‘We wanted to offer something that was a bit closer to home, more relaxed and less expensive’.

Steve fully deserves his success for his combination of innovation and empathy. They are the skills of the top card player: he reads the situation extremely well and knows how to invest his cash.

We wager it won’t be long until we see Steve sat in his own comfy seat in the Dragons’ Den, watching the nervy hopefuls and providing life-changing moments simply by uttering, ‘I’m in.’

GUKPT - LEG 6

Sam ‘Tricky’ Trickett has not been on the professional poker circuit for long, but in a short time he has managed to rack up ten cashes and three first place finishes, including last weekend’s Leg 6 of the GUKPT at Luton.

At 22, he is the youngest winner of a GUKPT event and his prize money of £106,000 is the second highest of this season’s tour.

376 players had coughed up the £1,000 buy in and the nine player final table was graced with the impressive presence of dart’s pro Wayne Mardle.

A six hour grind was required before Tricky went eye to eye with long-time tournament leader David La Ronde.

They must have felt like the unwanted guests had just left the room as they decided to waste no further time and pushed their chips into middle on the first hand.

After all of the money went in pre-flop, the players turned over their cards and Tricky’s AQ held up against LaRonde’s A7.

The winner, who was forced to stop playing football for a living when he had reconstructive surgery on his knee, has said he would like to find himself, ‘4 betting Doyle Brunson with air balls’.

When he adds this trough of cash to the greenbacks he banked in the WSOP, he could be forgiven for thinking that day is edging ever closer.

GUKPT – Leg 6 – Luton NL Hold ‘em - £1,000+60

1. Sam Trickett - £106,650
2. David La Ronde - £62,050
3. James Mitchell - £45,100
4. Martin Jarvis - £30,100
5. Martin Green – £23,500
6. Peter Arrigoni - £17,850
7. Wayne Mardle- £14,100
8. Stuart Rutter - £11,300Andreas Mihail - £8,450

A Man Walks up to a Hot-dog Vendor

Stop right there.

Before you read any further, we want you to get up and find a mirror, preferably one that is not too flattering.

Don’t move from that mirror for two minutes.

During that time, breathe deeply and try to mentally focus on the different parts of your body whilst continuing to stare at your face in the mirror.

If you do all that correctly, you should be in a higher state of consciousness and feel totally alive.

If so, come back and read the rest of the article.

If not, keep trying.

If, after a few unsuccessful attempts your mind is still thinking about a problem at work/the behaviour of the dog next door/how to bend spoons, then stay away.

This article is not for you.

For those enlightened punters who have returned from staring at the bedroom ceiling: congratulations, your poker game is about to improve.

You should feel totally alive, aware of your body and the different vibrations that are going on around you.

You accept yourself, you accept the moment and you accept your capacity for introspection.

It is also time to accept that the majority of your poker losses are down to your failings.

Sure, bad luck is a factor but is it as big a factor as to your reaction to it?

Can you, hand on heart, say you have never seen all of your money go in on the flop, only to discover you were the underdog, but you won the pot anyway?

Did that result cause you to go on a self-destructive rant about how the mechanics of the hand generator favour the weaker players; or did you trouser the cash and tell yourself the other guy had it coming?

Until you accept that you have a selective memory and that luck, bad and good, happens, your poker profits are going to be low.

Think about cause and effect.

Here’s an example for the world of football:

Manchester United are perceived to be ‘lucky’ in the amount of penalty decisions that go in their way, at their home ground.

Consider the possibilities:

1. Manchester United are lucky.

2. The referee is often intimidated by the home support and it affects his decisions.

3. Manchester United play a very, quick attacking style and are often in the opponents’ penalty area. Therefore, penalty decisions are statistically more likely.

Now let’s turn our attention to online poker and let’s say that you think it has more bad beats than the live game.

1. Yes it does. They are out to get you.

2. You see a lot more hands online and bad beats always stick in the memory.

3. Online play is (largely) anonymous and players can take things personally due to the lack of empathy. Therefore, they see more hands against you and administer more bad beats.

You have to make rational sense of these things. Unless you do so, you run the risk of becoming paranoid. Your thoughts about outside events will hinder your ability to make sensible decisions at the poker table.

You have to be in the moment.

It is not the cards, the site or the table that has the memories: it is you.

You know you can play well.

But do you know you can play badly?

If not, you are paranoid.

How do we know?

Your best mate told us.

Leg 6 of the GUKPT

If you’re a UK poker player keen to catch some top tournament action in a swish location then speed over to Luton and try to take part in Leg 6 of the GUKPT.

The main event starts today at 2pm but players with advanced ability in the dark arts of palm greasing may be able to wangle themselves a seat at tomorrow’s Day1b.

The tournament follows the familiar structure and has a £1,000+60 buy in. Record numbers are expected to generate a teetering prize pool and, as standard on the GUKPT, the winner will also receive a goody bag consisting of:

A seat at the tour’s Champion of Champions event

A free entry to the £3,000 final

And an iPod nano.

The festival began on Saturday at the G-Casino and has seen an impressive amount of players chasing some high class poker.

The opening day’s £100 NL tournament attracted 192 players and was won by newcomer Gabriel Macavoray. After banking the £5,810 first prize, we are sure we will see more of him on the UK circuit.

Another relative novice won Sunday’s £150 PL tournament. Denying the disadvantage suggested by his name, Andy Greekfish fought his way to the top of the food chain and netted £4,250.

With 80 online qualifiers expected for the main event, the trend to reward the greenhorns could continue.

We will find out on Sunday.

National Deaf Poker Tour

There are plenty of signs that poker continues to broaden its appeal and bring new players to the table.

Take the climax of the National Deaf Poker Tour (NDPT) on Friday.

Its 2007-2008 season featured four events, that last of which took place in the Venetian Casino, Las Vegas.

The NDPT was created by six hearing impaired players. One of those founders, James Rydstrom, said

‘We wanted to be able to have a deaf-only tournament to provide us the privilege of playing in a tourney where we can talk to anyone around us. If was playing in a world Series of Poker event among non-deaf players, I would not be able to pick up on what’s being said around the table. This is our event, where there are no barriers of communication.’

The noble aims of the organisation are matched by a rewarding prize structure.

The NDPT is structured on a points system and now the season is over, the body will be sending its top three players to a national (American) event of their choosing.

These skilled individuals are

Peter Vitucci – 854 points

Jonathan Barnes - 781.5

Jonathan Collins – 742

They will receive packages valued at $2,000, $1,000 and $750 respectively and they can choose any event from the WSOP or the WPT.

Poker Unclogged - Holidays of the Felt

Regular readers, or just the ones that are yet to succumb to the urge to smoke A-bombs, may recall that last week’s Poker Unclogged contained some advice for the reluctant traveller.

Unfortunately, it is still that time of year when you can find yourself away from the comforting confines of the casino.

However, it is possible to combine some time away from the stresses of domestic life with the pleasures of touching felt, as there is a fast-growing market for Poker Holidays.

These could be the ideal counterpoint to the annoying suggestion from energised spouses that it is time to hike up a hill and contemplate the beauty of nature.

Next time you are exposed to shit like that, you can subtly suggest that a Poker Holiday is the answer.

You may have to educate your partner to the delights of such an experience, as Poker Holidays have not yet reached the position at which the mainstream media send ex-comedians/down on their luck chefs/repentant alcoholics to report on the delights of such a vacation.

Luckily, the columnists at Eyebrows tick a few of those boxes and are here to relay details of one such package, a Poker Holiday in Malta.

We know you’ll be in for something uniquely memorable as you are invited ‘to play poker in The Mediterranean’.

The advertising materials continue with the claim ‘we can play Texas hold em no limit, limit, pot throughout our stay the cadillac of poker.’

When you read a point on the itinerary that promises ‘Buffet Breakfast, At leisure until bell goes’, we know you’ll be powerless to stop the ejection of your credit cards from your wallets.

For £409 (per person) you will receive flights and transfers, three nights in a four star hotel & spa, the ‘ultimate poker handbook’, a buy in for a tournament and a ‘Poker Guru’, who is available for advice, tuition and beard grooming chin-wags.

What more do you want?

With a blurb like that, it is almost certain that a high proportion of the poker holidaymakers with be mammoth fish, waiting to be scooped up. If you also factor in the tendency for people to loosen their guard whilst on a leisurely vacation, there are surely rich pickings to be made at the Dragonara Casino.

Some may be reading this and thinking, ‘That sounds great but how do I convince the other half that it is a proper holiday and not a glorified excuse to experience that same thing as I could get in a converted warehouse just off the M-6?’

Flop easy my friends, the organisers have thought of that.

This life-changing travel experience is a true journey of the soul.

Not only is it possible to play poker, the holiday also offers shopping, restaurants and people watching opportunities.

If that is not enough, there are stunning views of the Valetta bastions and the option to take various cruises.

Poker Holidays are the way forward and it clearly won’t be long until they attract some big name backers such as Bellagio, MGM and Relate.

Summer Pot of Gold

The poker community’s collective esteem is taking a bit of a kicking right now.

The eyes of the sporting world are turning to Beijing and the Adonises of the felt are feeling a bit left out.

Unbelievably, poker is still deemed to be unworthy of the Olympics.

That is the first cause for depression.

Secondly, the players have had the final of the ultimate test delayed for four months so a TV company can sell more advertising space to breweries.

It is little wonder that the top chip-rifflers of the circuit are contemplating a call to the trauma team.

Normally, they would console themselves with some top dollar action and then, after the lady has left the buffalo suite with her wad of sweaty money, they would play some poker.

However, August is a slow month and there is a feel of mid-season malaise about the circuit.

Although the Grand Sierra Casino, Reno, is currently offering a ‘Summer Pot of Gold’, some of the prize pools are a bit piss-poor.

Its biggest event, Saturday’s No Limit Hold Event created a pool of $56,745 and consequently only 117 players got out of bed to pay the $550 entrance.

Tom Cage was the man most resistant to narcolepsy and presumably his first prize of $14,185 can keep him in the necessary caffeine should he summon enough energy to enter another of these side-shows.

Main Event Summer Pot of Gold – Grand Sierra Resort and Casino - $500+50

1. Tom Cage - $14,185
2. Bo Hong Do - $11,349
3. Scott Alexander - $8,512
4. Steve Kujubu - $5,675
5. Roderick Won $4,540

M-Ratio

This week, we open the satchel of poker tips and pull out the exercise book that deals with M-ratio.

It a term invented by professional backgammon player Paul Magriel who, when he's not tumbling dice, also finds time to sit down at the occasional poker game and pen a few books.

Although the term and theory are his babies, as is often the case with these definitions, the basic principles were already applied by advanced players such as Doyle Brunson.

The M-ratio is a simple measurement of chip stack when factored against the price of playing each round.

M is equal to the number of laps a player can survive, making only compulsory bets, before his chip run out.

It is deduced by the following formula:

M = stack/SB+BB+(ante x number of players)

Example: in a ten player game, with blinds of $100/$200 and antes of $10, a player with a $2000 stack has the M-ratio of 5: he will be dead in five rounds (or fifty hands) if just makes the compulsory bets.

This can be more useful in tournaments than cash games – in the latter, a player can effectively set his own M-ratio as he can keep buying chips.

However, in tournaments, knowing your M-ratio, and thus the power of your stack, is a real asset.

To this end, pro Dan Harrington went to the blackboard and created five M Zones to help give novice and veteran alike a quick reference.

These are:

M ≥ 20 is the Green Zone – bet away as this is the best situation to be in. Play as you choose – loose or tight, you have plenty of time.

20 ≤ M ≤ 10 is the Yellow Zone – you have to start taking more chances here. Crucially, Dan argues small pairs and small suited connector lose value

6 ≤ M ≤ 10 is the Orange Zone – starting to become tight. Dan suggests a focus on making sure you are the first person to put money into the pot.

1 ≤ M ≤ 6 is the Red Zone – similar to what Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United, called 'squeaky bum time', your only option is now to push or to fold.

M < 1 is the Dead Zone. You're in Stephen King territory now, you have to push your money into an empty pot and rely on luck to survive.

For the ratio to remain valid in the latter stages of a tournament, you have to remember to factor in the percentage of players still left at the table.

So, for the earlier example, if the player's M-ratio was 5 at a full table, it falls to 2.5 if there are only five players remaining

Is this case, M effective = M x (players/10) or...

5 x 5/10 = 2.5.

Whether or not you really need to call it the M-ratio, a nod to Harrington's 'Zones' may improve your tournament strategy.

Poker Unclogged

August is a lazy month.

The kids are off school, a lot of Europe's governments are in recess and it is silly season for the newspapers.

Some may argue it is the perfect time to play poker – it can be relaxing, it can take your mind off work and it can be a way of funding trips to the slide park.

However, irritating members of the non-poker playing community tend to become a little prickly at the suggestion that Hold 'em is a valid form of vacation. They see holidays as a time to expand horizons, explore the great outdoors and generally fill your time with activities that people from TV/adjacent tents/Hell have told them are meaningful.

Therefore, throughout August, Poker Unclogged will be offering a once-a-week guide to players who have found themselves outside of the normal, nurturing bio-sphere that is a casino.

We'll start with tips for one of the most challenging scenarios for a master of the felt:

A visit to an art gallery.

First of all, draw on the reserves of patience that have seen you through the darkest hours at the tables, those times when your hole cards are a paint free zone.

You're going to need them.

You'll hate a fair proportion of the art and the place will feel like it is designed to discourage fun.

In a way, it is.

However, if you have ever lit a Cuban and chuckled at Larry's framed picture of dogs playing poker, then allow us to suggest other card-playing classics, some of which were not designed to be displayed in the bathroom.

Caravaggio's The Cardsharps.

He would have been a God-send at the poker tables: hugely self destructive, he only just managed to spill more paint than blood. The painting is a classic of the innocent out of his depth.

Juan Gris - Glass of Beer and Playing Cards

Less straightforward than it sounds, this Cubist painting will hone your powers of observation and as you try to spot the playing cards

William Hogarth – Scene in a Gaming House.

Possibly sneak off to view this one. A satirical work, it is not going to convince the uninitiated that poker should be an Olympic event.

Jean-Simeon Chardin –The House of Cards.

Far more respectable and infinitely more dull. Tell your family that most online pros looks like this fresh-cheeked nobleman.

Henri de Toulouse Lautrec – The Card Players.

A classic.

Feel free to point out to unenlightened bystanders that this is dogs playing poker but aimed at those with upper middle class aspirations – they'll love you for it. The only difference is that prints of this one hang in loos, not toilets.

Hendrick Sorgh – A Woman Playing Cards with Two Peasants.

You'll wish everyone you meet in casinos had the same generosity of spirit as these three plebeians.

So, we think you now have enough back up to survive crossing the threshold of a house of culture without dialling the trauma team.

Hopefully, your appreciation of paintings will enable you meet new people, chat about the evolution of styles and treat a few of them to a master class in the dark arts of poker.

July Festival – Main Event

Michael McCool, winner of the main event of the July Festival of Poker at the Broadway Casino, Birmingham, UK, has, in the past, offered some interesting comments to the press.

Here he is on his ambition:

'I'm naturally gifted with my mouth so if I continue to win whilst living a simple life in the country with my dogs, I will be very happy.'

Although some may argue that parts of that are a tad disconnected, the first part probably explains why his favourite celebrity is Gordon Ramsey.

Still, if he continues to haul in poker cash cows such as Saturday's £20,250, it won't be too long until he can act as lord of the manor and pursue his favourite hobbies of greyhound racing and shooting.

He certainly won't be the first person to consider tooling up while listening to James Blunt, McCool's favourite musician.

July Festival – Main Event

1. Michael McCool - £20,250
   
2. Graham Pound - £11,250
   
3. R Lakha - £6,750
   
4. F Nasr - £4,500
   
5. M Asad - £2,250

Heartland Poker Tour

Shane Sigsbee, recent graduate of Notre Dame University, was clearly not overwhelmed by his recent triumph on the Heartland Poker Tour.

Interviewed after the $2,500, televised tournament, he said, 'This feels pretty good. Now it is off to the golf course.'

He was competing in a US Amateur qualifier in Indiana where he had his daddy as a caddy

He persevered at the Majestic Star Casino after one of the shortest final tables in HPT history. When the 42^nd hand was dealt, he and Jason DeWitt flopped top pair but Sigsbee had a better kicker.

The twenty-three year old options trader had the burden of accepting $206,273 before he was allowed to put on his polo shirt and plus fours.

In another part of his interview, he said 'Options trading and poker are very similar. It is all about managing risk and taking advantage of probabilities.'

It was a philosophy that characterised his play as he gradually outlasted his 479 opponents by re-raising and putting the other players under pressure.

The Heartland Poker Tour is now halfway through its high-flying season and is drawing record crowds. Its next stop is Soaring Eagle Casino, Mount Pleasant Michigan.

Heartland Poker Tour - $2,500 event – Majestic Star Casino

1. Shane Sigsbee - $206,273
   
2. Jason Dewitt - $103,136
   
3. Frank Berretoni - $61,882
   
4. John Sladek - $48,130
   
5. Paul Lieu - $41,255
   
6. Ryan Henline $34,379