Poker Unclogged

As the silly season continues, this week Poker Unclogged brings news of another alternative way to take a break and still play cards.

Linda Johnson is a card player who has been inducted into the Women in Poker Hall of Fame but she doesn’t rest on her laurels and she continues to push the boat out. She is always keen to attract new players to the game and she is blessed with stacks of charisma, so it was not too surprising to learn that she launched a company offering poker cruises.

Her company’s slogan bravely states ‘You pack and we’ll do the rest’ but a quick browse of their catalogue and it is easy to understand that confident statement.

There are plenty of packages available and cruises are offered to a wide variety of destinations but it is the onboard service that illustrates the attention to detail.

Linda promises a zero tolerance approach to card table abuse. The games vary but tend to begin at $1-$2 limit and peak at $30-60. Such is the comprehensiveness of the packages on offer that they even include an original offer for solo travellers.

Singletons can either choose the standard 50% supplement or they can ask the cruise company to find them a roommate for the trip. With plenty of non-poker activities available, including karaoke and dancing, there might even be the potential for the newly met to become more than just card friends.

For any people seeking to lose their poker cherry, Linda Johnson provides free tutorials which can then be put to use at a level appropriate to the player’s budget. Linda has been the card room manager on more than forty cruises and can testify to good times and high humour.

She has compiled a list of the ten funniest things she has heard on a poker cruise:

1. Has this ship ever sunk before?
2. Does Viagra work on a cruise ship? (Depends on the port)
3. If so many of your passengers live in Las Vegas, why doesn’t the ship leave from there?
4. What is the altitude at sea?
5. When we reach Mexico, do we have to convert our chips to pesos?
6. How many hours do I have to play poker to get a dinner comp?
7. What time is the midnight buffer?
8. If someone falls overboard, will the ship stop for him?
9. Are live straddles allowed at sea?
10. Why don’t the inside cabins have portholes?

As good as Linda’s card seminars are, we would be delighted to welcome the kind of people who ask those questions to the poker table.

Although mainly aimed at the American market, there is nothing preventing European families from booking and Linda has now added a few destinations more local to us non-yanks.

Any interested parties keen to see a few flops at sea should check out Linda’s website at http://www.cardplayercruises.com/