The New Orleans Open

July can be a strange month.

In the UK, the forty day period beginning July 3 and ending August 11 is listed in The Old Farmer’s Almanac as the Dog Days.

They are believed to be an evil time ‘when the seas boiled, wine turned sour, dogs grew mad and creatures became languid, causing to man burning fevers, hysterics and phrensies.’

Although that was written in 1813, it clearly still has some relevance today as a trawl down the schedule of July poker tournaments reveals some evidence of creatures becoming languid as there are far fewer events than in more pre-canine times.

It is therefore impressive to see that a player from the UK managed to place 8th in The Orleans Open, a $2,000 NL event usually accustomed to solely rewarding our American friends.

The tournament managed only sixty-six entrants.

Although the top prize of $37,450 was taken by homeboy David Levi, Ali Sarkeshik made the trip from Northampton to the largest city in Louisiana and can add $5,620 to his collection of passport stamps.

The Orleans Open - $2,000NL July 20th

1. David Levi - $37,450
2. Ed Perry - $24,970
3. Scott Carpenter - $14,980
4. Christopher Amaral - $12,485
5. Timothy Herbert - $9,985
6. Sabyl Landrum - $8,115
7. Ben Fineman - $6,865
8. Ali Sarkeshik - $5,620
9. Roberto Mercer - $4,370

Dusk Till Dawn

The Dusk Till Dawn poker club held a mini festival last weekend.

An organisation with the needs of the player at heart, the club was born from Rob Yong's frustration at being turned away from a poker tournament because he was a minute late.

Dwelling on his anger he decided, with friend Nick Whiten, to scrawl a few ideas on paper and conceive the club.

Three years, after surviving the loss of their application by the UK Gambling Commission and a vigorous legal battle with established casinos, the Dusk Till Dawn club was able to open its doors as the UK's first legal poker-only club.

Based in Nottingham, it offers 45 tables, varied buy-ins, professional dealers and a valet service, ready for the visit of any high-rollers.

It continues to grow and the main event of the recent festival was a £750 NL tournament, which attracted the recent winner of the £1000 GUKPT Leg 4, Marc Goodwin, who managed 5^th place in Sunday's climax.

Top dog was Chris Bruce who walked off into the sunrise with a cool £20,738.

Dusk Till Dawn Mini Festival – Main Event £750NL – Nottingham.

1. Chris Bruce - £20,738
   


2. Shahnawaz Randera - £12,443
   


3. Andy Greakfish - £8,295
   


4. Richard Berridge - £5,333
   


5. Marc Goodwin - £4,148
   


6. Jon Omara - £2,963
   


7. Michael McCool - £2,370
   


8. Richard Stanley £1,778
   


9. Neil Giblin £1,185

Poker Worthersee Trophy

The multi-event Poker Worthersee Trophy concluded on Sunday at the Casino Capt Velden, and there were plenty leaving the Austrian holiday resort with prizes in their pockets.

The main event, Saturday's two-day, €2,000NL tournament was won by Stefan Rapp, who is clearly having a good summer. By beating 185 other players and scooping €95,420, he adds a 1^st place to the two cashes he achieved in this year's WSOP.

Although the Hold 'em event had the biggest buy-in, it was Thursdays No Limit 7 card stud tournament that boasted the Worthersee Trophy.

This coveted piece of silverware is the casino's way of trying to keep the flips flopping through their doors at a time when other parts of the town are offering a beach volleyball contest.

This year's winner was Swiss Sevrin Walser, who fought off waves of sets and had the balls to spike the hopes of 65 other players.

By being the player most likely to kick sand in the eyes of his opponents, he was rewarded with €28,220, the Worthersee trophy and a private HD screening of the beach scene from Top Gun.

(Maybe.)

Poker Unclogged

For this week's Poker Unclogged we are going to examine some of Doyle Brunson's advice from his 1984 book, Poker Wisdom of a Champion.

Doyle believes that most 'players would do well to examine themselves carefully before every game', and given that he is regularly touted as one of the best three individuals ever to peep at pocket aces, his words might be worthy of consideration. Keeps them moving and look at

So, as most people should recognise that playing in the wrong frame of mind can be a wonderful method of shovelling cash to your opponents, let's have a look at 'Texas Dolly's' seven point checklist.

1. 
   
   Have you had enough sleep? If no, don't play.
   
   
   

   (Bear in mind it was written in the eighties, before the online game exploded and players began a policy of bed-avoidance in July. We wonder if Gus Hansen would agree – in one forty-eight hour session, he managed to turn around a two month, million dollar deficit.)
   

   
   

   
   



2. 
   
   Is there something else you would rather be doing? If yes, don't play.
   
   
   

   (An interesting one this – it seems to imply poker should feel like your number one priority. We're not sure GA would agree.)
   

   
   

   
   



3. 
   
   Are you feeling physically well enough to sit through a movie? If no, don't play. When you are tired or you'd be fidgety in a theatre, you probably won't play your best poker.
   
   
   

   (With the amount of people multi-tabling these days, we suspect a bit of adrenaline might be necessary to keep them going and look at Phil Hellmuth – a multi WSOP bracelet winner but hardly Mr Phlegmatic.)
   

   
   

   
   



4. 
   
   Are you so mad at someone that it is interfering with your concentration? If yes, don't play.
   
   
   

   (No quibbles here. It is possibly the single most important thing. Read Zen and the Art of Archery for more insight.)
   

   
   

   
   



5. 
   
   Are drugs, alcohol, or medication interfering with your logical thinking? If yes, don't play.
   
   
   

   (Look at how he qualifies the point with 'logical thinking'. He seems to have foreseen the day when people would pop 'n crunch Adderal.)
   

   
   

   
   



6. 
   
   Are you emotionally upset? If yes, don't play. Fights with your wife or girlfriend are not healthy to your money clip.
   
   
   

   (Whilst true, this point manages to combine elements of number four and casual sexism.)
   

   
   

   
   



7. 
   
   (He says this is the most important advice)
   
   
   

   Do you feel like you're going to win? If no, don't play. Give credibility to your hidden feelings. Your subconscious might be analysing things you are not aware of.
   

   
   

   (It is hard to disagree. The wording might be a little off – how can you give credibility to your hidden feelings? – but he proves that he could also have been a champion of the positive thinking movement with the final gem of the Dolly's checklist.
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   At the end of the article, he offers the following as a wave-off:
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   If it looks like a good game and you survive the checklist, then sit down and do some serious winning. Otherwise, save your energy for tomorrow.'
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

Mad Genius

Mike Caro’s nickname as ‘The Mad Genius of Poker’ is well chosen.

Resembling a cross between Sigmund Freud and Dr Emmett Brown from the Back to the Future trilogy, if someone told you that he could travel back in time to find out why you grasp your earlobes in times of stress, you would nod your head.

Luckily for us mortals of the felt, Caro is now more famous as a leading poker ‘theorist’ and seems happier playing with statistical tables. To this end, he founded the ‘Mike Caro University of Poker, Gambling and Life Strategy’ and was one of a handful of individuals who believed online poker could be a money-spinner.

His theories, when extricated from some of the ‘Life Strategy’, are always worthy of consideration.

In one of his lectures, he compares poker to the game Rock, Paper, Scissors.

For the rules of the latter game, there is no optimum strategy to win every time – rock beats scissors beats paper beats rock.

If you are to have any edge over your opponent, you have to predict how he’ll play.

Caro then further expands the metaphor to poker by offering a practical example.

He puts three hands on the table, asks his opponent to pick one, and then he chooses the ideal one of the remaining two.

(It is not a perfect comparison to Rock, Paper, Scissors as he knows his opponent’s choice before he acts.)

The hands are:

4c,4h

Jh,Th

Ac, Ks

It makes his point well – if his opponent picks the two fours, Caro opts for jack-ten and will win 53% of the time; likewise, if the sucker chooses AK, Mad Genius awards himself 44 and profits in 54% of the battles; and finally, if his hapless student fancies jack-ten, AK is snatched up and Caro takes 59%.

He then indulges his love of mumbo-jumbo and goes a bit Lion-King by suggesting that the above is an example of the ‘circle of strength’.

He calls this, with a nod again to both mysticism and ego, ‘Caro’s Conception’

It states:

‘ In life, strength is sometimes circular. Therefore, the conqueror can be an underdog to an entity too weak even to defeat what has already been conquered.’

In lay-men’s terms, this means that it can be a mistake to believe there is ‘a best hand’ and the key to survival is adaptability.

Therefore, and back to a Friday night’s online session, when you are staring at leagues of multi-tabling rocks, you have to work out how to become paper.

It is here that some of Caro’s points stumble.

He argues that rocks lose out because they are unobservant and fail to steal pots – which is true, but only to a point.

In a tournament, with increasing blinds they lose out – but in online cash games, spread across twelve tables, they have the time to wait and there are usually plenty of fish to pay them off.

Their hourly rate may suffer but they rarely lose money as they are only investing in premium hands.

It is possible to beat rocks but it is a task about as pleasurable and time-consuming as papering the Grand Canyon.

It is better, when possible, to leave the quarry and look elsewhere.

If that is not possible, steal blinds, don’t ever call their all-in bets unless you have the nuts, stay patient and make more from the looser players.

Good luck.

Playing against rocks can make a person question their life strategy.

Larry Flynt’s Grand Slam of Poker

Larry Flynt is not a man to take things lying down.

An energetic individual, in his time he has worn the American flag as a nappy, survived an assassination attempt by a white supremacist and ran for U.S. President as a Republican against Ronald Reagan.

When the bid failed, (in his official announcement, he wore a 'Spot the Difference' T-Shirt with depictions of Reagan and Hitler) the pornographer still had a longing to add other arrows to his quiver, so it wasn't too long before he opened the Hustler Casino.

Located in Gardena, Los Angeles, it has become his most profitable business, founded on his philosophy of 'giving back to our players'.

Keen to keep expanding, in 2007, Flynt opened the casino's Crystal Room to, amongst other things, offer 'the biggest seven-card stud game in the world' and host poker tournaments.

Since July 6^th, it has been offering Larry Flynt's Grand Slam of Poker, a series of mid-price Hold 'em tournaments which culminates in a two-day, $1500 event on July 27.

Most of the events offer more starting chips than usual tournaments, a fact that helped seasoned veteran of deep-stack warfare, Houman-Manny Haddadnia (AKA The Warrior), wage a successful campaign on Sunday and snag $45,000.

Chip Counts of the November 9

1.Dennis Phillips - 26,295,000
2.Ivan Demidov - 24,400,000
3.Scott Montgomery - 19,690,000
4.Peter Eastgate - 18,375,000
5.Ylon Schwartz - 12,525,000
6.Darus Suharto - 12,520,000
7.David Rheem - 10,230,000
8.Craig Marquis - 10,210,000
9.Kelly Kim - 2,620,000

Poker Worthersee Trophy

As the WSOP now goes into its four month hiatus, we at Eyebrows can now place our sweaty palms on our mystic orb of poker and be guided to a different feast of flopping.

The mighty orb shudders, resenting its period of neglect, but eventually eases us in the direction of Velden, for it is there that Casinos Austria are presenting an event called the Poker Worthersee Trophy.

Its week- long series of games began on Sunday with a €500NL tournament but it is good to see that the organisers have also made an effort to offer a few more variants.

On Monday, Kurt Haindl, achieved his second first place at the series by winning the Limit 7 Card Stud rebuy, following his victory in Sunday’s NL tournament. With five days of the event left, he has already bagged an impressive €33,160.

It remains to be seen if he made it 3 out of 3 at last night’s Pot Limit Omaha, as the €300 rebuy+addon dust-up was still being contested into the early hours.

However, whatever Kurt’s fate last night, we expect to see him at today’s €1000 NL game, the half-price teaser to Saturday’s two-day event.

On almost equal billing as the climax, is tomorrow’s No Limit 7 Card Stud Worthersee Trophy as it demands a €1500 buy-in and expects contestants to last two days.

WSOP – Day 7

We now have the November 9.

After four day ones, two day twos and the following days three, four, five and six, even hardened poker journalists, accustomed to the Vegas time distortion, were at sixes and sevens.

Twenty seven players remained from the field of 6,844 at the start of day seven. Two thirds of the remainder would have to slope home, a mere quarter of a million dollars richer, but no doubt plagued by thoughts of 'what if?'

Although the November 9 will now have plenty of time to waste thinking about how they will play when they eventually return in 117 days, the man most likely to need the assistance of the trauma team is Dean Hamrick.

When he pushed his 3,420,000 chips into the middle, the tournament was at level 33 with 30,000 antes and 120,000-240,000 blinds. He had been dealt A-J and he was one of the first to act.

Chris Marquis went all in over the top and we watched the others players quickly fold. Chris revealed QQ.

The flop landed K-T-3 so Hamrick picked up a straight draw but when the turn produced another T and a king fell on the river, AJ was beaten.

Hamrick cashed $591,869 and a proud finish of tenth, but we will suspect he will rue his actions.

One player who may well want to shake Hamrick's hand is Kelly Kim.

When Hamrick's statistically weak push collapsed, he left Kim in 9^th place with only 2,620,000 chips. He is now $300,000 richer.

Of the other players whose challenge collapsed yesterday, Tiffany 'Hot Chips' Michelle will have to wait another year to etch her hancock into the record books as her 17^th place finish guaranteed an all male final table.

Yesterday also saw the end of Nicholas Sliwinski's challenge when he bowed out in 13^th place. Theoretically, that now leaves Jonny Chan without a player to mentor during the summer break.

However, we at Eyebrows suspect that some of Chan's minions will contact some of the remaining nine players and we may yet see his influence at the final table.

The player who will probably feel that he needs little assistance at the moment is Dennis Phillips. The accountant from St Louis, Missouri is chip leader with 26,295,000. The average stack is 15,208,888. He plans to return to his job and 'play a lot of poker'. Again, it will be interesting to see if he can stick to that plan.

It would be hard for anyone, not least an online qualifier who paid $200 for his seat, not to be swayed by voices with tempting offers.

It is a good example of The Utility of Money, or the theory that not every dollar has the same value.

Here's an example – if you start from scratch, make a million and then are presented with the chance to double it on a coin-toss, what would you do?

It depends on lots of things:

1. Is it your complete bankroll?
   


2. How did you make the money?
   


3. What could you do with the money?
   

Most people wouldn't take the bet as they would deem the first million more valuable than the second.

They are risk averse.

Jonny Chan might take the bet, as long as he was getting at least even money.

He is risk neutral.

He has a large bankroll and, to him, every dollar has the same value.

For a few members of the November 9, they now have a substantial time to think of how much they have in comparison to how they started – for one, $200 has become a minimum of $900,000.

They could easily become risk averse and vulnerable to risk neutral types manipulating them, either in deals at the table, or in offers purporting to increase their chances, if they are prepared to surrender a small fee or sponsorship rights.

Some of the above happens at every major poker game but, with four months to play with, the worm-tongues will be almost impossible to escape.

Scripting and Drifting - Day 6

Yesterday, I hit the wall.

I spent the whole of the afternoon reading the paper and a history book, before having a few drinks in the evening, then watching The Darjeeling Limited for inspiration.

This happens to me a lot during the writing process and I suspect I’m not alone: James Joyce was once found by a friend - the author was slumped over his keyboard.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘I’ve only managed seven words today’

‘Well, at least you have got seven’

‘Yes, but I’m not sure I have them in the right order’

Anyway, back down in the world of a wannabe hack, the problems are proliferating. Standard advice is to get out and seek ideas, that there is no such thing as a writer’s block and that any strain is simply a sign that you need further stimulation.

I agree – it is great advice – however, when you hit the wall, it often provokes thoughts of self-doubt, strips you of motivation and leaves you surrendering to the call of the couch which ultimately, of course, increases your self-loathing.

There are so many problems with the script that the answers will not come easily.

Here is a quick check list:

1. The set up is too long.
2. The hero is passive.
3. The actions of the government are unexplained.
4. The hero disappears from the page.
5. There is a huge hole in the narrative.
6. The characterisation doesn’t thoroughly explore survival guilt nor effectively portray a paranoid schizophrenic.
7. The plot is too similar to the Cormac McCarthy novel The Road which has been filmed and is released in November.

Only seven problems, you say?

I’m not sure I have them in the right order.

Day 6 of the WSOP

After Day 6 of the WSOP's main event at Harrah's All Suite Hotel & Casino, the field was trimmed to 27 and today's action will see the formation of the tournament's November 9.

When the day began, hardcore fan-boys were hoping that at least one of Phil Hellmuth, Mike Matusow, Victor Ramdin and Kido Pham would make the final table.

However, it was to be a day when the mighty toppled as all four players were sent to the rail, leaving the final three tables light on pros.

At least two of the survivors have caught the eye of Johnny Chan.

The ten-time bracelet winner shared a table with Staples employee Tim Loecke, and the former told the latter 'you're a very good poker player'.

After leaving the tournament in 329^th and collecting $32,166, Chan also told Dutch TV he thought the event would be won by Nicholas Sliwinski, a comment that amazed the younger man.

Sliwinski said, 'as far as I know, he hadn't seen me play'.

Such is Johnny Chan's omniscience.

He has offered personal tuition to Sliwinski, should the latter make the final 9, thus the highlighting the possibility that, although there will be no previous winners at the final table, their egos will still have an impact.

For now though, it is great to see so many new faces, many of them online qualifiers, having the time of their lives.

One hoping to make the record books is Tiffany 'Hot Chips' Michelle. With 9,755,000 of those hot things, she is currently third and is aiming to become only the second woman to make the final 9. She will also aim to better the 5^th place of Barbara Enright in 1995.

Scripting and Drifting - Day 5

This time, I managed to stray outside of my postal code.

I made it as far as the cafe at Tate Britain, which is a twenty minute bus ride away from the flat.

The script is developing more problems so I thought that a little more physical effort might stimulate the brain but unfortunately it didn't work very well.

Ironically, I received some sympathetic background: the Neoclassical gallery is currently hosting Work No.850 by Martin Creed.

Every thirty seconds, a different person will sprint, as fast as they can, through the gallery.

It begins at 2pm.

I arrived at 11.30 and was presented with an empty gallery so I had to descend to the coffee shop without seeing 'the beauty of human movement in its purest form.'

It wasn't in the basement either.

It is possible that the novelist Tim Lott was sitting opposite me - I like to think that he spotted the lap-top and nodded with sympathy when he clocked my idea-free face, but it was probably just some weekend dad wishing he was at Lord's.

After I had finished I spotted a series of leaflets, encouraging visitors to view art in different ways. Each one is a sequence of works that someone has picked to reflect states of mind.

I picked 'The I'm Hungover Collection' - I wasn't, but it was the most appropriate as it wasn't a 'rainy day', I don't (particularly) 'like yellow' and I haven't just split up.

I just needed to be mentally ushered around without any thoughts about whether or not I was doing the right thing - a common feeling after sixty minutes of script-writing.

The idea of the leaflets is to inspire visitors to 'create your own collection'. Each should contain six pieces of art and a story that links them.

I urge you to have a go. For the hangover collection, the links were so tenuous that my faith in anyone's ability to create a story has been chiseled away.

Time - 55 mins.

Word Count - 800+ - The Lott Effect

New Ideas - 1 - an infusion tea called Gunpowder green

Overall Rating as a Writing Environment - 5/10

Scripting and Drifting - Day 4

I took a day off.

I needed to think through a problem with the script (there are many) so instead of writing I hit the manuals.

I unearthed a gem. It didn't help me solve the problem but it is a great warning about trying to say too much.

The multi-talented Albert Brooks did a series of skits in the seventies for Saturday Night Live.

One of these was a trailer for a movie-of-the-week called Black Vet.

It showed a black actor messing around with animals in the clinic - but, he also had past in the army:

Black Vet: He's a veteran and a veterinarian!

There goes one of my characters.

(From: Save the Cat - Blake Snyder)

On Tilt

Putting another player ‘on tilt’ is probably the single most effective way of improving your EV at the table.

By the same token, if you cannot recognise the symptoms of tilt in yourself, you will severely hinder your chances of scooping the pots.

Being ‘On Tilt’ disturbs the mental balance that is essential for sound judgements during the game and usually results in the affected individual becoming too aggressive. It is not always caused by the actions of other players but when it is, it can be particularly hard to shake.

Consider the following scenario:

You are playing in a low level NL game at Vegas.

You have played steadily all night but are yet to see a profit. You are on the button, you look at your hole cards and see AA.

A drunken loudmouth, who has been winning all night, decides to push all of his chips into the middle.

You smile, call and surrender yourself to a higher power.

After he reveals his KK, you smugly turn over your little beauties.

He laughs and says, ‘Tough luck pal, this one’s mine. I can feel it in the whiskers of my beard. You’ll wish your mama had had a headache all those years ago.’

The flop makes no difference.

The turn brings a king.

The opponent cackles and orders beers all round.

He breathes beer in your face.

‘You’ll get me next time, son.’

You hope for a miracle on the river.

You get the 3 of clubs.

You are now on tilt.

How could you not be?

It is also going to last for some time and is highly likely to cost you money.

It is possible there are some players reading this and scoffing with derision. They believe they don’t tilt.

For them, we have one question:

do you ever feel pleased when you win a massive pot?

If the answer is yes, then you also go on tilt.

If you experience emotion one way, then you also experience its opposite.

Tilt can be managed, even minimised, but it is naive to think it can be eliminated.

In the example above, the best thing for you to do is to change the environment for a while. Staying in the same pressure zone will cause the metaphorical steam so beloved of animators to blow out of your ears.

Consider this:

Have you ever felt the urge to take a gift from an ex, drive to the train tracks, pump out some NWA and take baseball bats to the item? (Thanks to a source for that one).

No?

Well, try it, it is awesome (particularly with a bat in each hand)– but it is that very same destructive urge that overwhelms your senses when you are on tilt.

You want to take the guy down.

It is not about the money, it is about justice.

But poker isn’t about justice. It is about survival of the fittest.

As much as you may be the fitter player under normal circumstances, as soon as you draw a mental ‘Wanted’ poster of your opponent, you have surrendered the advantage.

Go for a walk, preferably outside and away from the casino. Eat something. Drink something non-alcoholic. Let the emotions subside.

They probably won’t dissolve but you should aim to return focused on stacks and not scalps.

Acknowledge that tilt is frequent and a massive part of poker’s appeal. It will affect everyone at the table at some stage.

All you have to do is be its cause, not its victim.

Scripting and Drifting - Day 3

Well, I managed a great achievement yesterday, as I found myself at a venue even closer to my home than the local pub or Cafe Nero.

The cinema bar/cafe is a mere 35-40 yards from my home and so it represents a disturbing trend, one that could easily suggest the slow contraction of agoraphobia.

Again, I feel the need to defend myself by arguing that circumstances were not conducive to a trip further afield as I had to fit the screenplay in after the poker blog and before a game of badminton.

At the very least, I thought the place would be inspiring. Its lobby is full of quotations from some of my favourite films - quick challenge - name the film -

'Have you got the Duke?'

I had to conceive a scene taking place in a deserted loch followed by a chase to a cottage. The incessant Abba music, pumped out to promote the release of Mamma Mia! didn't really help.

(Two Dancing Queens Only £10!!!!)

(It's a cocktail)

When Fernando came on, I was heavily distracted by memories of playing California Games on the Mega-Drive as a kid. It featured a rodeo section and the player had to ride a bull, the most docile of which was called Ferdinand, who loped around the ring trying to remember his more testosterone fuelled days.

The cinema was also offering a lunchtime mother 'n baby screening and so I was the only adult customer boasting a Y-chromosome. There were some smaller people flaunting their maleness but they were all distracted by the sensory pleasures available to them and were impressing all of the available female talent with their ability to gurgle 'n burp.

By comparison, I felt like Ferdinand.

Time - 60 mins.

Word Count - 600+

New Ideas - none. (Times I wish I could wow women by going ga-ga - 4)

Overall Rating as a Writing Environment - 6/10 (Free wi-fi a bonus but also a distraction)

Day 2B of the WSOP

This morning, a large sigh of relief could be heard emanating from the Eyebrows HQ. Normally such sounds of relieved contentment are reserved for the online browsing that goes above and beyond the call of duty, but today it was achieved without even having to disable the ‘safe-search’ filter.

It came when we realised that the period of the WSOP’s main event that features multiple opening days is now over and from this point on, the action will be far easier to report.

Day 3 will be upon us later and the field still totals more than 1,300 players. Of those, here are a few to look out for:

Phil ‘The Brat’ Hellmuth is sitting on a round 200,000. His decision to arrive to the last of the opening days dressed in a military uniform, riding a tank and looking the spit of George C. Scott in Patten has evidently helped for his conquest of the WSOP.

Victor Ramdin, winner of a WPT event, has clearly found enough time away from the distraction of his philanthropic work in Guyana and his love of darts, to dedicate to the WSOP as he has amassed 358,000.

The tournament has also seen plenty of heads rolling, with former kings such as Doyle Brunson, Greg Raymer and Chris Ferguson forced to join the great unwashed during the opening days.

By the end of Day 4, we should have reached the first pay-out level and any survivors will be sure of a $21,230 cash-in.

Scripting and Drifting - Day 2

It was a huge success.

Such was the impact of driving rain and heavy roadworks that my bold adventure to step into the unknown and examine the effect of different environments on the creative process got as far as, er, the local Cafe Nero.

It is even closer to the flat than The Alex.

Ok, ok, ok.

I know you are probably reading this and thinking: this guy is a joke - all he is going to discover is that people don't stray too far from home unless they have incentives.

And, yes, it is distinctly possible that this will prove beyond reasonable doubt that I am a true postal code person and that that realization will cause the onset of a serious depression that will leave me bed-ridden for the remainder of the noughties.

However, in mitigation, I have to state that it was a particularly chaotic day. I had to queue at the sorting office and I lost a Word document with the day's completed poker blog. Auto-recover decided to have a few laughs.

Because I was so crap yesterday, I would love to report that Nero was an ideal location to type a script.

I had to move from my first seat as a couple of blokes were about to sand the wall. The only remaining spec was by the disabled toilet.

Minutes later, it transpired that the able-bodied(?) toilets were out of order and there was heavy traffic to my seat.

Every time the door to the toilet opened, I was treated to a waft of organic waste.

The plumbing needed inspecting and so a host of unqualified people came to swing the door around, spreading the stench and driving me potty.

(Sorry)

I suspect the rain, the roadworks, the lost doc and the shit were my punishment for criticising Coldplay.

Time - 65 mins.

Word Count - 800+ (I was stunned by the total)

New Ideas - 1. The post-apocalyptic world would feature people using face masks.....

Overall rating as a writing environment - 4/10.

Overall rating as a smell based fetish club - 9/10.

Day 2A of the WSOP

With Monday seeing the last of Day Ones of the main event at the WSOP, yesterday it was time for the first of the Day Twos.

Confused?

Don't worry, so are we.

With the numbers so high, Day2A was created with the surviving players of Day1A and Day1B. Similarly, today's Day 2B is the total of people from Day1C and Day1D.

Or, if you prefer:

1A + 1B = 2A

and

1C + 1D = 2B

Now, if 1A is a complex, irrational, integer squared, how can be we prove that 2B is the prime requirement for a fulfilling life in a Las Vegas dirt-box?

Advanced pupils are also invited to submit answers to the 4-month popularity conundrum where:

X= $ from the sale of TV rights

Y = estimated devastation to a major tournament; and

Z = satisfied punters.

At this stage, Z can be estimated at 2,852, for that is the number of players still battling away. Of those, <500 can report high satisfaction ratings as they are the people who survived Day2A.

The remainder will have to go cap-to-cap later today for a chance to touch the table on Thursday's Day3.

By then, hopefully the numbers will be trimmed to the relatively manageable mark of 1,600 and then we at Eyebrows will take a well earned lie-down and think about Pythagoras.

Scripting and Drifting – Day 1

Welcome to a new daily post.

I have the opportunity to develop a screenplay from an outline given to me by a contact.

Every afternoon, I intend to leave the comfort of the flat and write for at least an hour.

However, every location has to be different.

These posts will reflect the experience of writing in each setting. Hopefully it will be an exercise that illustrates how the creative process works and not an additional cause for procrastination.

I also hope that my commitment to a daily post will help my discipline. The first draft has to be completed by July 31^st - at the moment I'm about halfway through writing the treatment.

So, my first experiment with toddling happened yesterday and I didn't choose the most awkward of locations because I didn't get any further than the local.

I walked into The Alex, opposite Clapham Common tube at 2.40, and doubled the amount of customers.

It is a large Irish bar, popular with Aussies and Kiwis, partly because it has at least 6 tvs, all showing sport. Even in the middle of the afternoon, it was impossible to escape Sky Sports News.

I deliberately picked a pub because I needed to write a scene that takes place inside one and, as the screenplay is set in a post-apocalyptic future, I hoped to soak up the loneliness of afternoon drinking.

Unfortunately, my mental state was focussed but not inspired.

For the first 30 minutes, my ears were subject to Coldplay but the situation approved slightly when the track Dancing in the Moonlight blurted through.

I hate the song.

However, it brought back memories of a particularly ill-judged email I sent to a female colleague and thus made me think of how images in film can transform even the most dreadful music into a hair-raising memory.

I won't suggest Dancing....let's not go nuts......but I need to open my mind, although I will be stunned if we can produce the transformative effect achieved by David Chase when he filmed the climax of The Sopranos to Journey's Don't Stop Believing.

The pub was later enlivened by two aging Irish couples who were experiencing the venue, if not its raison d'etre, for the first time.

They were natural storytellers. For them, talk was free and easy but, unlike many who share the same conversational approach, they left the listener feeling in their debt.

Their topics could have been drawn from the tombola at a village fete in Ennis and they all had a look which suggested they had won big at the bat-a-rat stall.

They got a lot from the bric-a-brac hanging from the pub's ceiling – more, indeed, than me. That was a lesson – I had become too distracted by the artificially whitened teeth on tv and not the pre-industrial revolution tools that adorn the walls.

So, how productive was it?

Time – 90 mins

Word Count – 500+

New ideas – 1. A mishap with an overhead fan.

Overall rating as a writing environment: 6/10.

Stimulating due to adornments but writer was tempted to have a beer and MOR music was stifling.

The Ten Commandments of Poker

For this week’s Poker Unclogged we are going to read the scriptures of poker pro and all-round good tomato Steve Ruddock.

A while ago, Steve decided to issue The Ten Commandments of Poker, presumably because He had had found two odd tablets and thought He was God.

Having spent time in Vegas, He had plenty of opportunity to reflect on the moral challenges of the 21st century and, to offset the risk of coveting the button-player’s cocktail-waitress, He channelled His mental energies to poker teaching.

We at Eyebrows are proud to reproduce His commandments. We will also stoke controversy by providing out own interpretation of the sacred words and thus show our followers the path to enlightenment.

Poker be with you.

1. Thou shalt always make rational decisions.
Although this is good advice, there is a certain irony because it is issued in the form of a commandment and surely unquestioning belief in the wisdom of others is highly irrational?

Anyway, just try to win money – if you find yourself playing and envisioning torture-victim scenarios, it is time to take up dentistry.

2. Thou shalt always think positively.
OK, Chris, you try that when your wireless has gone down in a thunderstorm, you’ve flopped aces full and all the opponent has to do is a minimum bet to take the pot.

3. Thou shalt only play good starting hands.
The greybeards at Eyebrows are troubled by these words and think anyone is a modern convert to poker will want to occasionally mix it up – see 5.

4. Thou Shalt Be Selectively Aggressive
No problems here. Bet when you have the best hand and when you think you can cause a player to fold.

5. Thou Shalt Mix Up Thy Play
Chris appears to contradict Himself here. Is it possible He was in conflict with Himself when he had his moments of clarity?
Maybe He is just moving in mysterious ways.

6. Thou Shalt Know and Play Percentages.
In Steve we trust.
All others must pay cash to draw.

7. Thou Shalt Always Work on Improving Thy Game.
Read scripture and you will be in a good position to help the less fortunate lose their cash.

8. Thou Shalt Always Learn From Thy Mistakes
Bad players blame bad luck for their mistakes.

Steve makes no mistakes.

We must be like Steve.

9. Thou Shalt Always Pay Attention.
We must not doze off whilst out of a hand for Steve is omniscient. He will be coming, so for Steve’s sake, look busy!

10. Thou Shalt be a Well-Rounded Poker Player.
Do not restrict thyself to the practice of Hold ‘em, for that is not the way on enlightenment. Try other forms and embrace all the poker world has to offer for it is only the truly open individual that will feast at the final table.

And so we close His book and reflect on our inadequacies but we will do it.

We will become better players.

We make our prayer to you saying, Steve hear us.

Steve, graciously hear us.

WSOP Opening Days

And so to the Rio All Suite Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas where, after a punishing sequence of four separate ‘Day Ones’, a few details are starting to emerge about the main event of the 2008 WSOP.

We know that our estimate of the number of players was woefully inadequate as there was an impressive total of 6844 bold hopefuls who all forked out $10k and created a prize pool of - get this - $64,333,600.

Scarily, for those followers of omens and other such irrational shite, the minimum payout of $21,230 will be awarded to the top 666.

However, the player who emerges as the prince(ss) of darkness (in four months’ time) will bank $9,119,517.

Here is something that will help put those numbers into perspective: so far, 53 events at the WSOP have been completed.

Of those, the most popular only attracted 3,929 entrants (the buy in was a mere $1,500) and the largest first place payout was the $1,989,120 won by Scotty Nguyen for his triumph in the World Championship – and that had a 50k buy-in.

Playing in the main event awards a chance to win a prize that is almost five times Scotty’s prize for 20% of the buy-in.

3,663 players have survived the opening days and there are few notable names to scare the greenhorns – Gus Hansen is sitting pretty with 102,900 and Victor Ramdin tops him with 124,600.

Day 1A of the WSOP

The main event of the 2008 WSOP finally began yesterday with the first of four ‘Day Ones.’ Anyone who managed to survive the rigours of Thursday’s action is now given a taste of what it will be like to reach this year’s final table as they will not resume their quest for the title until Tuesday.

The official number of players for Day1A is 1,297 and as each subsequent starting day tends to have a slightly bigger field, we could be looking at a total around the 5,500 mark. Of the final total, at least 2000 are online qualifiers, reflecting both the popularity of PC Hold ‘em and the effect of the online poker boom.

Indeed, had the Bush administration not amended a Port Security Bill in 2006 (a document drafted to help win the war on terror) to include a clause making it difficult for American online gamers to play poker, the field for the WSOP could easily have topped 10,000.

The effect of the bill can be seen straight away:

In the 21st century the number of entrants had increased dramatically, from 613 in 2001 to 8773 in 2006. The winner that year, Jamie Gold, managed to get his claws on a staggering 12m dollars.

(As an aside, Bodog entered into a deal with Gold in 2006. They agreed to stump up his entrance fee if he could use his contacts as a talent scout and find celebrities willing to compete under their colours. Gold’s crony, Crispin Leyser, claims that he was asked by Gold to help him in the task, in return for half of Gold’s winnings.

12m dollars later, Gold’s memory of the proposition became a little foggy, or so Leyser argued. A court case followed and half of the pay-out was frozen. An out of court settlement ensued.)

However, in 2007, the number of entrants dropped to 6,358 and it is not expected to be as high this year.

All of that will do have done little to curb the enthusiasm of yesterday’s players who, for the small price of their $10,000 buy-in, received 20,000 chips, a cushioned seat and, at the cry of ‘Shuffle Up and Deal!’, the sense that it could be the start of a life-changing adventure.

The tournament starts at a leisurely pace, with opening blinds of 50-100, 2-hour levels and 9-player tables.

By the close of the day’s play, 657 intrepid warriors had battled with sharks, survived attempting drowning by the river and will return ready for combat on Tuesday for the first Day 2.

We are saddened by the news that Bodog team pro, Josh Arieh had to catch an early limo home, when a surprised Alan Nowak saw his all in bet called. Nowak sheepishly revealed 2nd pair, but Arieh stared at the cards and then mucked.

You’ll get ‘em next time Josh

Current top gladiator is pro Mark Garner who has amassed 205,000 chips. He has some previous, including a stretch during the 2006 main event that took him to 25th and an assault at the final tine of a WSOP circuit event at Tunica in January.

He’ll be hoping he can survive his time in Vegas until the final table, when he can look forward to a three month parole period.

WSOPE 2008 - Schedule Announced

European poker players currently casting an envious eye stateside may be delighted to read that the schedule for the second annual World Series of Poker Europe was announced yesterday.

It will feature bracelets for four tournaments and include a new addition, a £1500 NL tournament for the opening on September 19th.

The main event begins on September 27th and interested players can fork out the £10,000 buy-in at any Harrah’s venue in Vegas, or by contacting the organisers, London Clubs International. They can also visit any LCI casinos.

This evolution of poker will be televised and for the first time it is likely to feature global distribution, including an eight-hour broadcast in the US. Regular readers of this column and seasoned pros will recognise this news as a thorny issue.

ESPN has promised that the WSOPE 2008 will remain a tinker free zone but have made no pledges for the future.

It would be of little surprise if they forced the players at the WSOPE 2011 to wear wired baco-foil, to play with chips that can monitor levels of palm perspiration and required the punters perform a Maori haka dance before the final table.

Additional details can be found at http://www.wsope2008.com/

WSOP Build-up

In the world of print media the months of July and August are sometimes known as silly season.

As governments go into recess and their elected representatives join normal people and take a summer holiday, half-empty newspaper offices feature pasty-faced hacks trying dredge up human interest stories.

In Britain, these tend to feature the weather, dog-shows or the latest humiliation for the England cricket team.

One man who has a long history of subjecting England’s cricketers to a dejected shuffle back to the pavilion is Australia’s Shane Warne.

The Sheikh of Tweak intends to exhibit his characteristic style of bowling and grooming in Las Vegas today. He is playing in a celebrity match with the Las Vegas cricket team, a group that promises an ability level akin to the Jamaican Ice dancing troupe. (Available for weddings, bar-mitzvahs and the 2009 WSOP)

The contest is part of an increasingly surreal build-up to the final of the WSOP and it seems to be have been organised with story-deprived journos in mind.

After a suspiciously short forty-five minutes of cricket, the players will retire and play in the African Charity poker tournament, an event that promises to be so exciting, it could withstand commentary from ex tennis pro Tim Henman.

Blame It On Rio

It is now a mere 2 days until the main event of the WSOP begins.

Established in 1968, it was originally little more than a home game as the players had to receive the nod before they could attend. Clearly this was against the spirit of poker. Benny Binion, casino owner and card sharp, hauled it to over to Binion’s Horseshoe and started the process that caused it to evolve to the current format.

In 1971, there were only 6 entrants and the first prize was a titchy $30,000.

In 2006, swelled by online qualifiers, the tournament saw 8,773 hopefuls contribute a $10,000 entry fee which ultimately handed Jamie Gold a 12m dollar pay day.

It is big business and it appeals to a wide audience, which presumably explains why the event attracts a wide range of sponsors, including a Pepsi branded energy drink and a medicine to cure erectile dysfunction. (Intriguingly, it was originally claimed that Coca-Cola had a stiffening effect on its male drinkers so maybe the cola wars are now being fought under cover.)

With so much money on the table, it was inevitable that it would be subject to corporate take-over and attract the interests of TV.

In 2004, Harrah’s Entertainment bought The Horseshoe and the WSOP brands.

In 2005, the company moved the events to Harrah’s Casino and they, in their ultimate wisdom, have decided to plonk the start date for this year’s final tournament on July 3

However, it is the latest act of tinkering that is causing the greatest consternation: on July 14, the field will be reduced to 9 players but they will have to wait 114 days until they resume the action.

Between July 14 and November 9, ESPN will air tapes of the action up to the final table and then will cover the action live.

It is simply unacceptable.

Poker has a history of marathon one-to-one battles in which the participants gradually reveal their strengths and weaknesses. The original point of the contest was to be the last man standing after a battle of endurance and mental strength.

Now, with the players experiencing such a huge gap, they will be able to receive coaching or watch tapes of their opponents. No one will return to the game playing in the same style they were using in July.

The lucky, inexperienced punter has the potential to return as a Wikiplayer, having absorbed comment from a variety of sources and having had his kinks ironed out.

However, it favours the established pros and they know it: Daniel Negreanu, has said, ‘You’re going to see some really kind of more sophisticated play [with a] different dynamic.’

If you need a translator, what he actually said is: TV has been good to me and I’m not going to stir controversy by criticising a ludicrous decision.

It is possible that it will attract more people to poker but it still makes little sense as a scheduling decision. The majority of ESPN’s poker viewers have far more distractions for their couch time in November: the NFL, NBA and NHL.

In July, even the most ardent of baseball fans can appreciate a respite to the near constant thwacking of its season and poker offers the thrill of risk that is not replicated on the golf course.

If you are still in any doubt that is a terrible decision, consider the giant of the latter sport, Tiger Woods.

He plays events over four consecutive days and, typically, triumphs over the psychological and environmental conditions. He combines tremendous skill with sublime intuition but also displays great mental toughness and it gives him a great edge over his opponents.

If the final round were subject to a hiatus, would it not slightly dent your perception of a truly magnificent champion?