Friday, February 02, 2007

Coming Soon


Channel Four last night unveiled its new reality show, outlined for the difficult ratings period between versions of Big Brother.

An executive for the company said “It is Big Brother meets The Last Supper. Er, the movie, not the painting, or any of that other stuff”

KlanDestine Kitchen will feature twelve celebrities, dressed in white hoods and sheets, entering a house to attend a dinner party. Gordon Ramsey will cook the food and there will be 12 successive meals.

For each meal, they will be given a topic to discuss and plied with alcohol.

Topics for the first week are:

Do you, like, really, feel English?

Climate Change – Is it time to limit flights for your entourage?

Gay People – Is there more to them than just people who get the party started?

Would you perform in Iraq right now?

Should we post troops to secure the Channel Tunnel?

The Sound of God – What is on His iPod?

Viewers will be invited to vote for the celebrity with the most PC opinions and the diner with the least number of votes will be ceremoniously disrobed at the end of each broadcast.

They will then be led to single rooms and locked in until the next meal. Their only contact will be the voice of Russell Brand repeating - “They are Evil”

The next day the disrobed person will be forced to wait on the diners and work in the kitchen with Gordon Ramsey. This process will continue until there is only one remaining diner who will be crowned Grand Wizard and will have all of the disrobed celebrities as servants.

The executive concluded “This should provide the kind of debate we would prefer not to think about."

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