The government today announced that, by 2040, students will be tested on early twenty-first century domestic history. Eleven year olds will be expected to know that the UK came bottom of a Unicef league table of child well-being across twenty one industrialised countries.
Students who pass will be deemed “winners”, given stars and groomed to be captains of commerce.
Students who pass will be deemed “winners”, given stars and groomed to be captains of commerce.
Students who fail will be branded “losers”, given drugs and pressurised to join a street gang.
This is to be an equal opportunities policy because, although the children will follow different paths, both fields offer the most successful students a great chance for the brief media and TV exposure necessary to validate their lives.
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