Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Time is Coming


As there is a slight lull in tournaments, Eyebrows would like to an opportunity to bring you news from another part of the poker world.

The movement for poker to be recognised as an Olympic event believes it is time for the game to proudly take its place alongside popular events such canoeing, badminton and sprinting. As the Beijing Games are only a few months away, it is too late for poker to be included this time, but lobbyists are optimistic that we will see cards shuffled in time for London 2012.

At the moment there are negotiations taking place with the International Olympic Committee and, although there has been some progress, there are still a few tough raises to overcome.

Here are a few of the main stumbling blocks:

1. Attire. The IOC is unhappy with the current haphazard approach with poker’s combination of random Hawaiian shirts, heavily sponsored Tees and guys who dress like they have arrived for the bargain bucket. Proposed alternatives include figure hugging leotards with iPod friendly pockets; dinner jackets complemented with a dicky bow of the nation’s flag; or utilisation of clothing from the sport fencing – the mask could hide facial expressions and the breeches would promote ease of movement.

2.Innovative coverage. The IOC feels spectacle hungry spectators may be bored by the current system and has proposed a ‘Shade-Cam’. This will offer the viewers a chance to have a direct experience of how the players wearing sun-glasses see the game.

3.Disciplines. The IOC thinks poker needs to be spruced up. It has offered two new speed versions of Hold’Em called ‘Fold and Muck, and ‘Raise and Call’. Eyebrows will keep you informed about these potentially record-shattering new variants.

4.The button. The IOC would prefer to see players pass around a baton.
5.Heats. No player can simply ‘buy in’ as that would not gel with the Olympic Sprit (no, not the sponsored one). Everyone will be expected to earn their place at the tables. Players will be subjected to a punishing, round-the-clock ordeal, with some qualifying heats expected to start as early as 5pm.

We at Eyebrows feel it can only be a matter of time before these hurdles are overcome, so we proudly look forward to the day a poker player tops the three-level podium, hears a national anthem and accepts a cheque for a seven-figure sum.

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